IN RE Mitch McConnell’s Response To Joe Biden’s Undignified Comments About Piece Of Sh*t Supreme Court

Y'all. Hey. Hey y'all. Y'all hey.

Mitch McConnell said Joe Biden is being very bad at "dignity."


That's the joke, the end, good blog post, us!

So anyway, McConnell is just real upset about the way Biden talked about the Supreme Court this morning in Madrid. We guess he's mad Biden referred to the "outrageous behavior" of the Supreme Court, as if to suggest the partisan hacks McConnell and Donald Trump put on the Court without America's consent are filthy disgusting unwashed toddlers and not distinguished jurists. That's what happens when you put partisan hacks who act like filthy disgusting unwashed toddlers — misogynistic ones! — onto the Court, instead of distinguished jurists.

Yes, Mitch McConnell is complaining about this, the guy who has singlehandedly done more diarrhea all over the legitimacy of the Court than any living human, starting when he stole a Supreme Court nomination from Barack Obama in order to wait almost a whole year see if that Russian attack on the 2016 election for Trump's benefit would pay off for the GOP.

Oh, would McConnell deny that was the true motivation in his heart? That is between him and Satan, and we can all look at McConnell's behavior throughout the year of our Lord 2016 — especially when the Obama administration begged him to join with them in condemning Russia's assault on our country and he wouldn't do it — and judge for ourselves what we think was really going on. (Remember how MAAAAAAD he got when the whole country started calling him "Moscow Mitch"?)

And look, it worked! Mitch McConnell stole a Supreme Court seat and gave it to yet another Republican president who couldn't win the popular vote if his unpopular sad life depended on it!

Then in 2020, just to make sure he had fully skullfucked the legitimacy (and dignity!) of the Court to death, he went ahead and got a vile, unqualified trash human named Amy Coney Barrett confirmed to Ruth Bader Ginsburg's seat, oh my God, after people had already started voting in that year's election.

And the Russian attack didn't work in that election, so WHEW. Close one, Mitch! We just had to endure the dignity in between like with the pussy grabbing and the ketchup throwing and the golden toilet for his Big Mac dumps, just all the dignity in the world on that one, must have been why Mitch McConnell refused to impeach him after he very dignifiedly led an actual coup on actual Mitch McConnell.

In between, he made sure to get Justice CrediblyAccused von SexualPredator confirmed, to sit on a toadstool in front of that unfuckable fascist airhead Alito and the one who talks about the pubes and has the sedition wife, so that in just one week of just one term they could take away rights from: women, children getting murdered in schools, Native American tribal sovereignty, "the literal earth," and Miranda rights, and they promised next term they'd come for "one person one vote" when they said they'd take up whether state legislatures can just say fuck it and pick anyone they want to be president.

Yeah, tell us about "dignity" and "Supreme Court," Mitch, please, LOL.

OK, Mitch McConnell, go eat family-sized Kentucky fried buckets of dicks in hell, you trifling piece of un-American shit, please and thank you.

Oh are we not being "dignity"? We said "please and thank you" like the southern gentleman we are, not sure what else you want from us.


Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!

Wonkette is funded ENTIRELY by a few thousand people like you. If you're not already, would you pls consider being the few thousandth and one?

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

Raspberry Pi Introduces a $6 Board With Wi-Fi

Everyone's favorite versatile microcontroller maker, Raspberry Pi, just unveiled a handful of new, budget-minded products. The company is building on the success of its $4 Pico board, which has thus far moved just under two million units since its January 2021 launch. From a report: The new Pico W is launching today for $6 -- the "W" (and additional $2) brings 802.11 Wi-Fi connectivity to the system. The $5 Pico H adds a pre-populated header for interfacing with other systems; the Pico WH ($7) gets you both. The first two are available right now, while WH is shipping at some point in August. As the company notes, its boards have found a lot of success beyond their initial hobbyist and educational focus, as companies have begun to intregrate the controllers directly into their products.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

Cryptocurrency Titan Coinbase Providing ‘Geo Tracking Data’ To ICE

Coinbase, the largest cryptocurrency exchange in the United States, is selling Immigrations and Customs Enforcement a suite of features used to track and identify cryptocurrency users, according to contract documents shared with The Intercept. From a report: In August 2021, Coinbase sold a single analytics software license to ICE for $29,000, followed by a software purchase potentially worth $1.36 million the next month, but details of exactly what capabilities would be offered to the agency's controversial Homeland Security Investigations division of were unclear. A new contract document obtained by Jack Poulson, director of the watchdog group Tech Inquiry, and shared with The Intercept, shows ICE now has access to a variety of forensic features provided through Coinbase Tracer, the company's intelligence-gathering tool (formerly known as Coinbase Analytics). Coinbase Tracer allows clients, in both government and the private sector, to trace transactions through the blockchain, a distributed ledger of transactions integral to cryptocurrency use. While blockchain ledgers are typically public, the enormous volume of data stored therein can make following the money from spender to recipient beyond difficult, if not impossible, without the aid of software tools. Coinbase markets Tracer for use in both corporate compliance and law enforcement investigations, touting its ability to "investigate illicit activities including money laundering and terrorist financing" and "connect [cryptocurrency] addresses to real world entities."

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

Supreme Court Kills EPA Too In Case You Thought It Was Just Tribal Sovereignty, Women, Classrooms Of Kids …

In a decision that's certain to make getting the climate emergency under any sort of control truly impossible, the Supreme Court today sharply restricted the Environmental Protection Agency's ability to regulate carbon dioxide emissions from power plants. The 6-3 decision by the Court's "conservatives" makes it even less likely that the US will be able to reach President Joe Biden's goal of generating all the nation's electric power via clean energy sources by 2035, or to reach net zero carbon emissions overall by 2050.

The decision, by Chief Justice John Roberts, pounded a stake made of a dead whale's jawbone through the heart of the 2015 Clean Power Plan. The Obama-era regulations never went into effect, blocked by the Court in 2016 due to lawsuits from Republican states and the coal industry; those lawsuits eventually resulted in today's decision.

It might be nice to have a planet that can sustain life for large mammals like members of the federal judiciary, Roberts ruled, but the EPA doesn't have the authority to get in the way of fossil fuel profits to do it. If Congress wants to help keep the planet habitable, well then it can always pass a law. Easy peasy!

Capping carbon dioxide emissions at a level that will force a nationwide transition away from the use of coal to generate electricity may be a sensible 'solution to the crisis of the day.' But it is not plausible that Congress gave EPA the authority to adopt on its own such a regulatory scheme. A decision of such magnitude and consequence rests with Congress itself, or an agency acting pursuant to a clear delegation from that representative body.

Good luck getting that past Roberts's own party — and if it passes, good luck winning approval from the Roberts Court. It's not like a sustainable Earth is anywhere near as important as avoiding regulatory overreach.

Beyond stripping the EPA of the power to regulate CO2 emissions nationwide, the ruling limits future EPA actions to regulating individual power plants.

In her dissent (page 57 of the SCOTUS decision PDF), Justice Elena Kagan, joined by Stephen Breyer and Sonia Sotomayor, wrote simply "So long and thanks for all the fish" before departing Earth for a saner world.

Hold on, we're getting an update; that's not what happened at all. Kagan reaffirmed that the science of climate change is no longer in doubt, and noted that the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change makes clear that the only way to prevent the very worst effects of global warming is to stop pumping greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. She noted that Congress had indeed authorized the EPA to enforce the Clean Air Act, which directs the agency

to regulate stationary sources of any substance that “causes, or contributes significantly to, air pollution” and that “may reasonably be anticipated to endanger public health or welfare.” [...] Carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases fit that description. [...] EPA thus serves as the Nation’s “primary regulator of greenhouse gas emissions.”

Noting that coal- and natural-gas-powered generating stations produce about a quarter of US greenhouse emissions, Kagan states that the Clean Power Plan was put in place to fulfill the EPA's regulatory mission, by shifting the US to sources of energy that won't kill us through climate change. The majority decision, she wrote, "strips the Environmental Protection Agency of the power Congress gave it to respond to 'the most pressing environmental challenge of our time.'"

In a scathing conclusion, Kagan wrote that if any part of the federal government is guilty of overreach, it's the majority on the Supreme Court:

Evaluating systems of emission reduction is what EPA does. [...] In rewriting [the Clean Air Act], the Court substitutes its own ideas about delegations for Congress’s. And that means the Court substitutes its own ideas about policymaking for Congress’s. The Court will not allow the Clean Air Act to work as Congress instructed. The Court, rather than Congress, will decide how much regulation is too much.

The subject matter of the regulation here makes the Court’s intervention all the more troubling. Whatever else this Court may know about, it does not have a clue about how to address climate change. And let’s say the obvious: The stakes here are high. Yet the Court today prevents congressionally authorized agency action to curb power plants’ carbon dioxide emissions. The Court appoints itself—instead of Congress or the expert agency—the decisionmaker on climate policy. I cannot think of many things more frightening. Respectfully, I dissent.

And then all the Republicans in Congress rejoiced and fossil energy stocks kept rising in value. Today is a great day to make money, our children and grandchildren be damned — which this decision seems bent on accomplishing.

In coming days, we'll look at what can be done to offset this awful decision, because even if this lifeboat just sprang a leak, we all need to keep rowing like hell. We can also take heart that coal simply isn't competitive in the long run with cleaner energy sources. But today will likely go down in history as a real setback in the fight to keeping the planet habitable. We can still prevent the very worst, but it's now going to be harder.

Maybe it'll build character.

[West Virginia et al v. EPA / NYT / Image credits: SCOTUS by Jarek Tuszyński, Creative Commons License 3.0, industrial background by 'Indie_charles,' public domain) ]

Yr Wonkette is funded entirely by reader donations. If you can, please give $5 or $10 a month so we can keep on keeping on.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

FTX Closes in on a Deal To Buy Embattled Crypto Lender BlockFi for $25 Million in a Fire Sale

FTX is swooping in to buy crypto lender BlockFi for pennies on the dollar, CNBC reported Thursday, citing sources familiar with the matter. From a report: The term sheet is almost over the finish line and expected to be signed by the end of the week, according to one source, who asked not to be named because the deal discussions were confidential. FTX will pay roughly $25 million -- 99% below BlockFi's last private valuation. Jersey City, New Jersey-based BlockFi was last valued at $4.8 billion, according to PitchBook. An acquisition could take multiple months to close, and the price tag could shift between now and Friday, a source said. Friday also marks the end of the quarter, which the person said was a catalyst for getting a deal signed. The Wall Street Journal first reported that FTX was seeking an equity stake in the company, while the Block reported this week that an outright deal was in the works. Update: BlockFi has denied the reporting. " I can 100% confirm that we aren't being sold for $25M," the company chief executive said.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

Russians Are Searching For Pirated Microsoft Products and Switching To Linux

Nkwe writes: Russians are searching for pirated Microsoft software online after the US tech giant halted sales in the country over its invasion of Ukraine, the Kommersant newspaper reported earlier this week. Russia-based web searches for pirated Microsoft software have surged by as much as 250% after the company suspended new sales on March 4, according to Kommersant. In June so far, there's been a 650% surge in searches for Excel downloads, the media outlet added. Microsoft said earlier this month it's significantly scaling down business in Russia, joining a long list of companies winding down businesses in the country amid sweeping sanctions over the war in Ukraine. The move hits Russia hard because the country relies on foreign software to power many of its manufacturing and engineering tech systems, Bloomberg reported on Tuesday. Russian government agencies, too, are switching from Microsoft's Windows to the Linux operating system, the Moscow Times reported last Friday. Developers of Russian systems based on the Linux open source operating system are also seeing more demand, Kommersant reported. Not all sectors are able to swap out their systems easily.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

Liz Cheney Calls Trump Garbage Right To Reagan Library’s Face

Liz Cheney spoke at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in sunny California last night, and because this is the bonkers world we live in, we have to treat that like a good thing and an inspiring thing. And the thing is, it was! It was good and inspiring and she stood up for America and we still have whiplash from all of this, to be honest.

Of course, we come to this with our tongues planted much more firmly in cheek than perhaps Rep. Cheney would prefer, as she was speaking at soaring lengths about the Republican party making a choice whether it was going to get back in the American lane or veer full-stop into fascism. We'd argue that bird has flown the coop straight into the hands Vladimir Putin and Viktor Orban and the gaping, festering holes in Tucker Carlson's white nationalist soul.

But it was a cool speech!

Here's the video:

As Politico Playbook notes, Cheney's speech was part of the Reagan Library's “Time for Choosing Speaker Series,” where Republicans are speaking to “address critical questions facing the future of the Republican Party.” What kind of luminaries have participated in this exercise? Such mental wizards as Kristi Noem and Mike Pompeo and, um, Ben Sasse! And Mike Pence! And so many more!

To be fair, the Venn diagram of the Republican brain trust is mostly halfwits, demagogues and religious fascists, so it's not like we're going to run into a bunch of "Jeopardy!" champs here.

Playbook does note that Donald Trump has not been invited to participate. The library says it's not including former presidents in this series. Whatever.

But on to that soaring speech!

“At this moment, we are confronting a domestic threat that we have never faced before. And that is a former president who is attempting to unravel the foundations of our Constitutional Republic. And he is aided by Republican leaders and elected officials who have made themselves willing hostages to this dangerous and irrational man.

Enemies foreign and domestic, but mostly domestic right now, ayup, sounds right.

“Now, some in my party are embracing former President Trump. And even after all we’ve seen, they’re enabling his lies. Many others are urging that we not confront Donald Trump, that we look away. And that is certainly the easier path. One need only look at the threats that are facing the witnesses who’ve come before the Jan. 6 committee to understand the nature and the magnitude of that threat.

There she is mentioning the witness tampering again, just like she did at the end of the Cassidy Hutchinson hearing, which leads us to believe the Committee has a lot of evidence on that.

“But to argue that the threat posed by Donald Trump can be ignored is to cast aside the responsibility that every citizen — every one of us — bears to perpetuate the Republic. We must not do that, and we cannot do that.”

Again, she was speaking to a group of Republicans in the year 2022. That's not nothing.

And she didn't hold her fire at them either. Yes, that quote above has her saying words about "enabling his lies," but elsewhere in the speech she called Republicans "willing hostages to this dangerous and irrational man,” and said "Republicans cannot be loyal to Donald Trump and to the Constitution."

She also summarized what her January 6 Committee has proven so far. We borrowed this portion of the transcript from Charlie Sykes so all the errors are his:

As we have shown, Donald Trump attempted to overturn the presidential election. He attempted to stay in office and to prevent the peaceful transfer of presidential power.

He summoned a mob to Washington.

He knew they were armed on January 6th.

He knew they were angry, and he directed the violent mob to march on the capital in order to delay or prevent completely the counting of electoral votes.

He attempted to go there with them. And when the violence was underway, he refused to take action to tell the rioters to leave.

Instead, he incited further violence by tweeting that the vice president, Mike Pence, was a coward. He said, quote, Mike deserves it. And he didn't want to do anything in response to the “Hang Mike Pence” chants.

It's undeniable. It's also painful for Republicans to accept.

It was just after that when she said Republicans can't be loyal to both the Constitution and Trump.

And they clapped at her, in the good way!

Of course, the Los Angeles Times does note that "full capacity crowd skewed more Democratic than usual, and many attendees said they were inspired to come to the speech after her performances on the Jan. 6 panel." So it's possible the true headline here is "Democrats Woo-Girl-Ing At Liz Cheney Again, ZZZZZZZZZ."

But hey, sure, fine, we live in this bonkers time when lambs lie down with Cheneys and a little child shall lead them, or however the Bible goes. And though she criticized Democrats here and there, she also said:

“One of my Democratic colleagues said to me recently that he looked forward to the day when he and I could disagree again,” she said to laughs. “And believe me, I share that sentiment.”

Kum-ba-yah or whatever, Jesus Christ, this country is in a really shitty place when this excites us.

[Politico Playbook / Los Angeles Times / The Bulwark]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!

Wonkette is funded ENTIRELY by a few thousand people like you. If you're not already, would you pls consider being the few thousandth and one?

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson Takes Oath As Supreme Court Throws Another Tire On The Dumpster Fire

"In the midst of death, life persists. In the midst of untruth, truth persists. In the midst of darkness, light persists." — Mahatma Gandhi, 1931

Almost a century later, we are in the midst of a lot of fuckin' darkness, with much of it coming from the Supreme Court. In just the past week, six robed lunatics with life tenure have stolen women's right to bodily autonomy, overruled Americans' expressed desire to prevent their neighbors from walking around with murder sticks strapped to their hips, and gutted the EPA's ability to regulate carbon emissions to mitigate the effects of the boiling cauldron we've turned the planet into for our children. And for next term, they're taking up a case designed to let gerrymandered state legislators seize the ballots and cast electoral votes without regard for the will of the citizens.

It's not good.

And yet, in the midst of so much death and untruth and darkness, light does persist. Today Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson took the oath of office at the Supreme Court. Justice Jackson, the first Black female justice on the nation's highest court, and only the third Black justice ever, has been holding it together her whole life. After graduating from public school in Miami, she attended Harvard College and Harvard Law, then clerked for three federal judges, including Justice Stephen Breyer, whom she replaces today. She's been a federal public defender and an advocate for sentencing reform as vice chair of the US Sentencing Commission. And she's been a federal district and circuit court judge in DC, before being elevated to the Supreme Court.

This is an incredible woman whose qualifications are unparalleled and who held it together with total poise through those absolutely filthy confirmation hearings when GOP Senators Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, and the rest of those diabolical goons pretended that she was some kind of friend to child molesters.

While Judge Jackson will not change the balance of the court, she is 51 years old, and she will be there when Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito are gone. And perhaps more importantly, representation matters.

President Joe Biden promised to nominate a Black woman to the court because he understands that the lived experience of judges informs their decision-making. The end of Roe is a horrible tragedy, but Justice Jackson and Justice Amy Coney Barrett (yes, her, too), who have actually given birth, fundamentally understand what's at stake when you force a women to carry a dying fetus to term in a way that their male colleagues cannot begin to imagine. Moreover, having someone in the room for whom racial discrimination is not simply a theoretical construct matters as the six conservative justices gear up to gut what's left of the Voting Rights Act.

Very bad things are coming in this country. But Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson is a point of light who will dedicate the rest of her life to protecting our rights. Today she put out a statement:

With a full heart, I accept the solemn responsibility of supporting and defending the Constitution of the United States and administering justice without fear or favor, so help me God. I am truly grateful to be part of the promise of our great Nation. I extend my sincerest thanks to all of my new colleagues for their warm and gracious welcome. I am also especially grateful for the time and attention given to me by the Chief Justice and by Justice Breyer. Justice Breyer has been a personal friend and mentor of mine for the past two decades, in addition to being part of today's official act. In the wake of his exemplary service, with the support of my family and friends, and ever mindful of the duty to promote the Rule of Law, I am well-positioned to serve the American people.

And you know she will do it. So let's enjoy this moment of brightness and light and truth as we watch her take the oath.

Follow Liz Dye on Twitter!

Wonkette is ad-free thanks to readers like you who SEND US MONEY, HONEY. And if you're ordering from Amazon, use this link, because reasons.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Couple Bought Home in Seattle, Then Learned Comcast Internet Would Cost $27,000

An anonymous reader shares a report: When Zachary Cohn and his wife bought a house in the Northgate neighborhood of Seattle, Washington, they didn't expect any trouble getting home Internet service. It was only after closing on the house in July 2019 that they learned the bad news. "All six neighbors I share a property line with are wired for Comcast, but our house never was," Cohn told Ars. Comcast's predecessor company had wired up the neighborhood with cable decades earlier and the ISP provides high-speed broadband to the abutting properties. But the cable TV and Internet service provider never extended a line to the house purchased by Cohn and his wife, Lauryl Zenobi. Cohn spent many months trying to get answers from Comcast on how he and Zenobi could get Internet service. Eventually, he contacted his City Councillor's office, which was able to get a real response from Comcast. Comcast ultimately said it would require installing 181 feet of underground cable to connect the house and that the couple would have to pay Comcast over $27,000 to make that happen. Cohn and Zenobi did not pay the $27,000, and they've been relying on a 4G hotspot ever since. "I was just flabbergasted that a house like this, in an area like this, could possibly have never been wired for Internet," Cohn said in a phone interview. Because the house is "in the middle of Seattle, it didn't even dawn on me that that was possible," he said, adding that the lack of Internet service would be "more understandable if I was two miles from my nearest neighbor." The Seattle Kraken hockey team's $80 million practice facility is in the same Northgate neighborhood, about a half-mile from the house. There's a major bus station in the area, a light rail station that recently opened nearby, and an elementary school within about a 90-second walk, Cohn said, noting that the property is "well within the Seattle city limits."

Read more of this story at Slashdot.