We Found The Liberal In South Dakota



As the completist Wonkette reader knows, my husband and I (everybody wish Shy a happy FIFTIETH BIRTHDAY today, oh my lord) have picked up sticks from Suddenly Lunatic Montana and beat feet with our family for the Golden Dream by the Sea, wait no that is California, we have beat feet for Detroit Vs. Everybody.

Fuk yeh.

We stopped, as people in Wonkesbago do, at a thousand-acre bison ranch in the prettiest spot in South Dakota (they exist), where the "Harvest Host" (vineyards and farms where you can stay free with the assumption that you'll buy something. I love buying somethings from local people! It is perfect! This is not a paid endorsement but I would absolutely accept one!) put us in the prettiest meadow known to man, and the girls were happy and the dogs were happy and we were happy and the next day I found some off-brand Frontline and now all the ticks are dead.


And what was I doing moving to Detroit? Same thing I do everywhere, Brain, run a liberal political news website! "Well you're the first one of those [he meant liberals] who's ever come through here!" he said. Nah, we're just the first one's who've ever said so, I said and I winked like a jolly old elf and then bought two bison ribeyes, two kinds of jerky, and barbecue sauce with honey from his bees. We didn't need the straight honey from his bees though, we have honey from our own. And had he lived here all his life? I asked the bison ranch fellow. Since 1909, when his great granddad got the land, he told me. Was South Dakota a state then? I queried. It was a state, but that's when the county got opened up. Ohhhhh I told my husband later, his great granddad stole the land from the Indians on the Rosebud reservation, and lo, it was true.

I told the fellow where we would be stopping (for free!) the next day, at a sculpture park in Montrose. And oh, how that fellow tried not to sneer, as it wouldn't be entirely polite and I hadn't even accused his great granddad of genocide. (That he knew of.)

"It's ... it's like a junkyard sculpture place," he told me. "My wife actually knows the guy!" And if that weren't the most ignorant thing I've heard since I left Montana and stopped talking to my erstwhile neighbor, Sen. Greg Hertz, I don't know what is.

Because for one thing, it had me looking forward to a junkyard sculpture place, with presumably at the LEAST a pyramid of old tires, and there was only pristine acreage, where Wayne (the sculptor) and his blind dog Bambino (the poet) hand-watered flowers they planted, hauling around plastic jugs. (Not Bambino, he has no thumbs.) And there was massive sculpture and small sculpture and bohemian women dancing and poems, each poem stark and mournful and deep and fucked up and "creepy" my daughter said. One was your typical Easter Island head with lips sewn shut and eyes sewn shut and the shortest poem, about the wise man not seeing evil or hearing evil, like the monkeys. "To become wise," it read, "you must first be mangled."

Yes, daughter, it is creepy and it is perfect and it is the last thing you expect at a tourist trap. And the bison ranch fellow would never understand it.

And of course I talked to Wayne, and we talked about being liberal and getting the fuck out, and for all his poems about loss and isolation and how each choice you make precludes another choice, he has planted himself like a flower hand-watered from a plastic jug in South Dafuckingkota, and he sits there in the heat and the wind and the sun and talks to the tourists and sells them a T-shirt, and he's got some online friends of likeminded SD weirdos (HE CLAIMS EXIST) and I invited him to Wonkette, where y'all are weirdos, I believe that was a direct quote just kidding of course it was.




Ballerina





Dancing women and pre-women


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This Helps Shrink Enlarged Prostate: Do It Daily! Tabs, Fri., May 6, 2022



CDC says hospitalizations and deaths about to rise again after that Trump judge banned mask mandates on public transportation, so enjoy! (And please be careful out there!) (ABC 6)

The Louisiana bill classifying abortion as homicide "from the moment of fertilization." Don't douche after sexing, ladies, that's probably an abortifacient now. (Also don't douche.) (Bill)

They will absolutely prosecute you for your miscarriages; they BEEN prosecuting you for your miscarriages. This woman had to bury her "fetal remains" four years ago, it was disgusting bullshit. (Texas Observer)

Read every word of Lauren Hough on how they want us to think it has to be coat hangers. They slaver to punish girls with fear and pain and all the blood.

What she wanted to do was drive the end of a coat hanger she’d sharpened into her belly button and presumably into her uterus. She’d already tried and woke her roommate up with her grunting.

The base hospital had told her she was pregnant. But because of the Hyde Amendment, they couldn’t even mention the word “abortion.” Her church back in Alabama had taught her abortion was a sin, that she’d burn in hell. Her school hadn’t taught her where to find her uterus. But she remembered coat hangers were involved, from one of the church’s halloween fright the ever-loving shit out of teenagers haunted houses.

It took most of the night to convince her a medical abortion was a better option than shoving a coat hanger into her abdomen, that she’d still be able to have kids later on, that it was legal and we could help her navigate it, that no one would ever know, that it was normal and safe.

Lauren Hough substack

Your friend CripDyke has thoughts on CAN IT. (Free Thought Blogs)

Richard Branson of all people had very good thoughts, as did Levi corp. Wonder if they'll get banned from Florida. — Popular Info

Get ready to be sickened by every detail of what and how Texas Gov. Greg Abbott is preparing to do about educating the state's children who are immigrants — you know, a former Supreme Court case he figures is ripe for rehearing — because "zygotes are people but immigrant children" are not. (Amanda Marcotte at Salon)

As always, Roy Edroso Breaks It Down.

LOL oh my god, you think your math textbook is commie, Florida? Benjamin Franklin put an abortion recipe in his. (Slate)

Here's Jen Psaki yestertoday introducing once again Karine Jean-Pierre, who will be her replacement as White House press secretary. Gah, she is so smart and terrific.


youtu.be


Should we teargas the media? This Republican candidate for Florida's Seventh Congressional District Cory Mills says yes! — Daily Beast

More than half of inflation is being caused by fatter corporate profits. How should we saute the CEOs? I vote bacon grease. (Economic Policy Institute)

SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR LEETLE YACHT. Wait, that's not how that goes. — Department of Justice

Madison Cawthorn sure did want to pay his chief aide more than was allowed, so SHHHHH he did it in SECRET. (Daily Beast)

I ... what? First Black Secret Service agent to join a presidential detail was pardoned by President Joe Biden for a ginned-up bribery conviction that the accusers admitted was fake, had warned about a plot against Kennedy. Is that all???? — Who What Why

Ma'am.


I am off after today to drive sloooooowly in the Wonkebago from Montana to our new home (knock wood) in Detroit. See you Fridays only for the next two weeks!

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Amazon Has Millions Of Prime Subscribers! But Few Know About … Tabs, Thurs., May 5, 2022



It's not a "culture war," it's not about hemlines, it's religious tyranny. How was Jennifer Rubin ever a Republican? (Free link Washington Post)

How are we covering Roe v. Wade today? We are writing about the process of course.

The word “women” didn’t even appear in Peter Baker’s lead New York Times story on Wednesday’s front page until after the jump, six long paragraphs in, and even then it was in a paragraph about how the ruling “would represent a devastating defeat for liberals who sought to guard women’s right to choose the procedure against years of efforts to chip away at the ruling.”

Dan Froomkin at Press Watchers

Amanda Marcotte says we need to focus on "abortions happen sometimes when people have sex, and sex is fun and people should have it" instead of scaring everyone with dead women and coat hangers. She's not wrong! Both are also true.


Even recent history shows how being proudly on the side of pleasure is a winning argument for the left. During the George W. Bush administration, the right got really bold about their anti-sex views. While the laughably flimsy pretext that they're "pro-life" was still bandied about, Republicans — emboldened by having a fundamentalist Christian in the White House — started openly arguing for a national sexual standard that expects all Americans to abstain from sex until marriage. (And for all LGBTQ people to embrace lifelong chastity, as well.) The Bush administration imposed "abstinence-only" education on schools. Republican politicians aggressively argued against contraception use in public, insisting, as then-Indiana governor Mike Pence told CNN in 2002 "the only true safe sex is no sex." Republicans would sometimes even argue that married couples should only have sex for procreation.

Salon

Rebecca Traister is sick of the Democrats — including leadership — who can't even say the word abortion and claim to be fighting while they won't do so with their whole throats, explaining why and how we must stop with the focus-grouped, mealymouthed "right to choose." (Choose what, choose Jif?) She offers a few Democrats — Jayapal, Warren, Gwen Moore — as brave shining counterexamples. (New York mag)

About the English common law jurist Sir Matthew Hale whom Alito cited for his completely ahistorical draft (which by the way cited Hale decrying aborting a "quick child," with "quickening" being when you can feel it move, which is ... of absolutely no relevance to a six-week, a 15-week, or a blanket ban). Anyway, this fucker Sir Matthew Hale was bad news. — Jezebel

Pretty weird that conservative media isn't taking much of a victory lap about winning the dream they've run on for 50 years now! (Insider)

The deficit has gone down under President Joe Biden, if you care about that, which is only an issue when there's a Democrat as president, but whatever, great fine I guess. — AP

Conservators "appalled" that Kim Kardashian wore Marilyn Monroe's "happy birthday suit" dress to the Met Gala. Really interesting story actually at LA Times, or Daily Beast if LAT is paywalled.

The "Not Me" woman of the Me Too novels. A really interesting review of the novel Vladimir (Wonkette cut link). I have a bit of that boys' girl contrarian in me. (The Nation)

Southern salads, but not the jello or marshmallow kinds. Oh those are some pretty salads. BONUS: The last one is a charcuterie board OF SALAD, because I know how much you love them :) — Emily Nunn at Southern Living

Well damn, now I have to:



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Popular Canned Meats Ranked From Worst To Best! Tabs, Wed., May 4, 2022



Yestertoday has been a rough one. Let's see what we're reading today.

Open a tab to cheer you up:



This. This was always the plan.

My siblings and I were parading around those church stages, models of Christian values and ethics, along with so many other families. And we smiled and waved and dreamed of those ghost babies. But we also grew up. One woman I knew as a child called me last year to tell me about her abortion, which she had after her birth control failed. Having a baby could kill her. She’d been in an accident as a girl and the injuries she sustained meant that giving birth might well end her life.

Lyz Lenz substack

Abortion is more important than the leak. (Jared Holt substack)

Deep breath:

This is for the abortionists who go to work in bulletproof vests in picketed buildings and who carry the secrets and futures and hopes and regrets of their patients to and from work every day, and who do so with dutiful mercy. May God bless you. May His face shine upon you.

— Read Monica Hesse at Washington Post (free link)

Acting Chad fucked with the Department of Homeland Security report to make it less LOOK WHO INSTALLED TRUMP, IT WAS RUSSIA. Imagine that. — DHS Inspector General report

Looks like the State Department is finally getting involved with basketball superstar Brittney Griner's unlawful detention in Russia. GOOD. (ESPN)

Michigan using Joe Biden Bux to replace all the lead pipes. Thank you Michigan. — American Independent

Why is Joe Biden kamikazeing all the Hot Pockets factories? No really, Tucker Carlson is asking. (Daily Beast)

Help them. Help the librarians. — Anne Helen Petersen substack

Because they really really really are coming for the school boards.

Bonnie Anderson, a Katy school board candidate who made national headlines last year for her attempts to ban the graphic novels “New Kid” and “Class Act” by Jerry Craft, has repeatedly accused another candidate, Eliz Markowitz, of being a “predator.” Markowitz, the only openly gay candidate seeking a board seat in Katy, has spoken against attempts to ban books featuring LGBTQ characters and storylines.

“God knows your sinister agenda in trying to get a seat on a school board when you have no children,” Anderson wrote to Markowitz in a recent Facebook comment.

NBC News

Can you freeze cucumbers? Let's ask Martha Stewart, oh the answer is yes!

Well, that is a pretty incredible kids treehouse. And you're saving $28,900! Can you afford not to buy it??? (Etsy)

NOW we're talking kitchen islands. I'll take one of each. — DigsDigs

A note from Hooper, your bartender:

Hey folks. In light of the Supreme Court news, I'm lightly tossing aside my "here's a lovely light and refreshing Mother's Day cocktail" article in favor of my "these are the most hardcore shots the staff does at the bar" article. One of the shots I've got in mind needs some prep work. Do this before Friday. You'll thank me later.

Lemon Sherbet

6-8 large lemons
2/3 cup sugar

Wash all the lemons with hot water and give them a rough scrub with a kitchen towel. You're trying to get any wax off outside of the lemons. Peel the lemons. Try to get as little white pith into the peel as possible. Save the denuded lemons for later.

Toss the sugar and lemon peels together. All the peels should be thoroughly coated with sugar. Cover and let sit for a day. The sugar will draw all the lemon oil out of the peel.

After a day, scrape all the lemon oil/melted sugar out of the bowl into a jar. You don't get a ton of yield from this process, so don't panic if you don't have a bunch. (For reference, the lemon oil goo is called oleo saccharum, and it's super tasty on its own.) Rinse the bowl and the lemon peels with about 1/4 cup of boiling water, and pour that into the jar too. Squeeze all the reserved lemons into the oleo saccharum. Visualize the heads of your least favorite Supreme Court justice as you crush each fruit. (Try not to get any seeds or pulp into the final product, though.) Stir. Store the final product in the fridge. It'll keep for two weeks.

Hang in till Friday. Help is on the way.

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Moments Hotels Missed The Mark Completely! Tabs, May 2, 2022



Well look at the New York Times, finally (FINALLY) calling a racist a balls out racist! Nick Confessore three parter on Tucker Carlson, Racist As Fuck. (Free link)

I am told this was very very good, sorry we apparently forgot to put up a livestream for you! *Shakes fist at sky* ROBYNNNN!!!!


www.youtube.com


Joe Biden had some good lines (and some fumphers), aw Old Handsome Joe :) "The president hasn't attended the White House Correspondents Dinner in six years. That's understandable. We had a horrible plague followed by two years of COVID."



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And as always, re-treat yourself to Barack Obama just murdering Donald Trump after literally killing Osama Bin Laden. Which was absolutely terrific until we realized it was the villain origin story of Trump deciding to run for president and murder us all :(


www.youtube.com


THANKS OBAMA.

Using the power of the government to punish "woke" companies, for freedom. (Media Matters)

Congressional Democrats and Joe Biden inching up in the polls. — Washington Post free link

Meet Summer Lee, the (holy wow beautiful!) Black organizer who's the frontrunner for a US House seat in Pennsylvania. (19th News)

The people who were kids during the LA riots:

He remembers being left alone for hours. His mother and her boyfriend had gone out to join the people who took to the streets that day, and she wouldn’t come home for several days — she was arrested, and Quinnie and his brother were left to fend for themselves. Ralph’s, a regional grocery store chain, was delivering food vouchers to people’s doorsteps for free sausages and bread as part of a promotion for its new stores in the area. The brothers would use them to get food for the coming days.

Buzzfeed News

Two Wisconsin DAs, and it sounds like they might have been baddies! As always with podcasts, let me know how it was! (WPR)

Victorian taxidermied hats, obviously. — Forgotten Files

The single blue-eyed ancestor of all blue-eyed people, 6000 to 10,000 years ago. (Old Science Daily post)

Ohhhh grilled strawberry salsa fresca! — Better Homes & Gardens

Hotel badness! I like the tiny toilet in No. 5. (Nature World Today)

And one last one for Martini:


www.youtube.com


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The Fine Art Of A First Date At A Bar Or Restaurant! Tabs, Fri., April 29, 2022



How a dissident and her daughters escaped Russia. (STL Jewish Light)

How to become a trillionaire, without even having to get a trillion dollars! Read this one even though it's at Medium.


You Can Be a Millionaire youtu.be


Unions making their biggest gains since the 1960s!

Erica Smiley: The thing that I've seen motivates people the most is winning, even if it's a very small thing. Ten or 15 years ago, we ran an online campaign to help an elderly worker at a Walmart in Florida get a stool. It was his second job and he needed the job, but he wanted to be able to sit down and he was a greeter. When the store said no, we ran a campaign to get the man a stool. That whole store signed up. All of a sudden everybody was ready to do something, and we got him a stool. That's our job as organizers: to show workers that when we're in motion together, we win.

Get him a fucking stool. The end. Yahoo


How bad is the Wisconsin redistricting? Like oof you would not believe it bad! Wisconsin is literally a 50/50 state, and yet the Republicans drew themselves a supermajority. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

How to fight back while they're snuffing democracy in your town! — Daily Kos

Mike Lindell and Alan Dershowitz suing to outlaw voting machines, and I'm not against it. At the very fucking least, mandate a goddamn paper receipt! — Liz at Above the Law

Yay, gonna have a measlepocalypse! Congratulations, world! (World Health Organization)

Here's who should get a second booster, it is "everybody over 50," so "all Wonkers, pretty much." — Scientific American

Lubbock, Texas, is doing some cool shit with its free American Rescue Plan money, mostly involving "giving other people free American Rescue Plan money." (Fox 34)

Who else loves "Rehab Addict," oh we all do hooray! Ransom Gillis house pictures, HGTV.

Speaking of "Rehab Addict," I am (or am not!) buying a house and the title's all fucked up and I may not be buying it after all, and I literally do not understand, after a hundred articles, how "title insurance" works. My seller lady had title insurance! The title company went out of business. Why aren't all liens and deeds and whatnot just recorded by the state? Why is there this middleman? Who fuckin knows! (Detour Detroiter)

Okay, but these are some pretty good business cards. — Doc Journals

You heard the headline! First date at bar or restaurant, fine art thereof! (Food and Wine)

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The Fine Art Of Being A Good Hotel Guest! Tabs, Thurs., April 28, 2022



Dr. Fauci says pandemic's over, which is actually not at all what he said, but he was a little confusing about it. (Seriously.) Great news is we seem to be at about 10 percent of the last wave's hospitalizations and deaths, if I'm doing the math right which is up in the air since I'm not actually paying much attention to what I'm doing right now, which is great news. But that topline is not the whole story, which is many more paragraphs of nuance than that. (Washington Post free link)

How are there so many goddamn cardiologists, lab owners, hospital pharmacy directors, hospice owners, and others being total fuckin crimey shitbirds? MAD AT YOU, SHITBIRDS. (Department of Justice)

Oh lord:

Later, as our family began making plans to gather once we’d all gotten the shot, I learned that Sue’s own son had refused the vaccine. I struggled to comprehend this news. I knew, of course, that anti-vaxxers existed; I mean, I live in Texas. I might even have told you that if anyone fit the profile for an anti-vaxxer, it was this man. But to rebuke your beloved mother’s dying wish? This dying wish? I kept coming back to one word: grim. How grim this world, where ignorance and misinformation and selfishness win out not just over science and reason, but over love.

Andrea Grimes at Dame mag

I guess it's good that this guy's only a congressman instead of a brigadier general anymore? But who in ONI was telling Rep. Scott Perry that CIA chief Gina Haspel was making egg foo yung out of all the ballots? (CNN)


Woke Neil Gorsuch. Seriously. — The New Republic

There were suicides and the kids needed mental help. The rightwing school board said fuck you, because the proposed mental health center might say it's okay to be gay. We expect this kind of headfuck in the South; this was in Connecticut. (Ridgefield Press)

A ton of pushback from pretty much every civil liberties group against Gavin Newsom's proposed "CARE court," for being "coercive" and "mental health services first instead of housing first." And here's one of the places I break with the civil liberties groups and any of the type of activists who call shelters "internment camps." It's not fucking okay to have tens of thousands of people shitting on the street. It's not okay for them, and it's not okay for society. And when people are really really really out of their minds, they by definition can't make good decisions for their autonomy, and should have someone else help with that. [SB 1338 / Human Rights Watch against]

What did extremely extreme lunatic Michigan Rep. (and husband to the state GOP chair) Matt Maddock do to get thrown out of the Republican caucus? Nobody's saying, which is VERY ????? — Detroit Free Press

I have seen not one second of the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial, I guess because I don't want to watch a man I used to think was swell until I believed the woman who said he beat her ass. But apparently the internet thinks he's the victim. This column doesn't really bring any evidence to bear one way or the other; it just focuses on his fans and their social media squawking, which is annoying. (Mel Magazine)

Tennessee House approved a bill to burn school library books or some shit, or at least that's what the men voting for it said they'd like to do while they voted for it. — WSMV

"In new deposition transcripts, Trump defended encouraging rally attendees to beat up hypothetical protesters wielding tomatoes by claiming that projectile fruits can be lethal." Fuck you. (Daily Beast)

Blah blah blah used and new car prices, with the supply chain and whatnot. Should You Buy Them? I guess if you are in the market for one, you should click and see. (Kelley Blue Book)

The ne plus ultra most clickbait for my soul: The Fine Art of Being a Good Hotel Guest. Now I can die easy and at peace, knowing that I was and am, in fact, a good hotel guest, and it was art. — Food and Wine

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What Kitchens Looked Like The Year You Were Born! Tabs, Wed., April 27, 2022



What to know about the Supreme Court and MPP (the Remain in Mexico policy for asylum-seekers). — Ian Millhiser at Vox

New: The Court seems fucking annoyed by the judge who ordered Biden to maintain Trump's MPP. (That judge is Michigan Democrat Elissa Slotkin JUST KIDDING. OR AM I????) (Millhiser at Vox again)

And same regarding religion in public schools and how the Supreme Court's going to rule on that. (PROBABLY NOT AWESOMELY!) — Millhiser at Vox again more also

Los Angeles Sheriff Alex Villanueva what now?



More at LA Times. Believe it or do not believe it, but that sumbitch ran for sheriff as a progressive criminal justice reformer SPIT SPIT MAD EYE PTUI.


But do the Chicago anti-violence trainings work? Yes. Yes they do. (Chicago Sun Times)

Who's grooming who? A list of #republicansexualpredators. — Google doc / National Memo

Inflation may kill your news darlings as people cut discretionary spending on newspapers and other people's substacks and only rich people can afford the news. But not at Wonkette, where we both will never have a paywall and we will NEVER DIE. (The American Prospect)

What if, and Ryan Cooper is just spitballing here, moderate Democrats criticized Republicans instead of Democrats, since "Democrats attacking their own party base and leadership seems unlikely to convince many to vote for Democrats" and Republican plans and policies are actually incredibly unpopular? (TAP)

What's happening with the Colorado River, Lake Mead, and Lake Powell? Just counting some magic beans. (Grist)

Don't drink grave water or you can die young like all the Bronte sisters and one brother I guess. — LitHub

Take your library card and go "check out" some seeds heart hug emoji. — Civil Eats

I don't love this off grid art farm, particularly because I think off grid art farms should not be millionaire shit, they should be crazy person out in the desert shit. BUT. If I were a person who exercised, I might like to exercise there. (Realtor)

Top Chef recipes? That sounds hard. I better click through each one and find out. — Food and Wine

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These Tattoo Covers Let Us Believe In Second Opportunities! Tabs, Mon., April 25, 2022



Macron beats Le Pen 58-42, which is less than you'd like with an honest to god fascist but would probably be far worse if Le Pen hadn't promised to bring France to Putin. I see this like the GOP snatching defeat from the Democrats (I HOPE) by promising to burn all the gays for witches. We will see o.O (CNBC)

Putin's forced deportations of Ukrainians to Russia. It's not great.NBC News

I'm not seeing anything new in this story about Jamie Raskin saying Mike Pence refused to get in the car with the Secret Service on January 6, but maybe it's new for other people. I guess it's new that Raskin affirms the Secret Service had bad intent. Maybe? Anyway, there'll be hearings soon and we'll see if people can be reminded that REPUBLICANS ARE BAD FUCKING PEOPLE BREAKING THE COUNTRY. (NBC News)

The humiliation of Kevin McCarthy at The Bulwark. But can you shame the shameless?

Why did Florida ban all the math textbooks except the ones published by a subsidiary of the Carlyle Group? Oh, a very good not at all ginned up reason!

In a March interview conducted over email, Mr. [Chris] Rufo stated that while social-emotional learning sounds “positive and uncontroversial” in theory, “in practice, SEL serves as a delivery mechanism for radical pedagogies such as critical race theory and gender deconstructionism.”

“The intention of SEL,” he continued, “is to soften children at an emotional level, reinterpret their normative behavior as an expression of ‘repression,’ ‘whiteness,’ or ‘internalized racism,’ and then rewire their behavior according to the dictates of left-wing ideology.”

(My bold.) What he means, and this is entirely intentional, is that they don't want children learning to disagree respectfully, work as a team, and not bully. They want children bullied. They want adults bullied. So we'll all conform properly. Say you want about National Socialism, at least it's their ethos. (New York Times free link)


"Everywhere Babies" seems like a pretty fuckin crazy book to ban. (Washington Post free link)

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott found zero drugs and zero illegally crossing immigrants in his "enhanced" border search, but it's not like that was the purpose anyway. The purpose was to cause pain to American wallets by keeping trucks from delivering their goods, and it worked. — Texas Tribune

Youngs are unenthused about Democrats this year and Democrats need to take it seriously. Yes, we know it's difficult when two of your 50-seat majority are Sinema and Manchin and the Supreme Court is shitting on everything that does pass. But throwing up our hands is not good enough. (NBC News)

A very dull tick-tock of behind the scenes at CNN+, which shut down after hundreds of millions of dollars and several weeks, because some suits thought it would be their legacy and other suits were annoyed, oh my god is that not what's interesting about that. (Vanity Fair)

Netflix spent $13 BILLION on original content last year? STOP GIVING $13 BILLION TO ADAM SANDLER AND THE GUY WHO MADE SHAUN OF THE DEAD THEY ARE OUT OF IDEAS. — New York mag

I love this story about the funeral home director (nephew of the guy who inspired the best TV show finale of all time, shut up don't you argue with me, "Six Feet Under") who used his equity in the Kmart mansion we looked at some weeks back to buy Detroit's Jew bathhouse that survived for some decades thanks to the swingers orgies, which they don't have anymore, but thank you for your service. — Bridge Michigan

Realtor dot com asks the real question: But what about John Wayne Gacy's house?

Chocolate marshmallow cookies! (And they worked just fine with "plant butter" too!) — Baked the Blog

Okay but a lot of these tattoo coverups are really pretty. (Doc Journals)

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Do This Every Evening And Fungus Will Be Gone In No Time! Tabs, Fri., April 22, 2022



Be more like Mallory McMorrow everyone. James Carville says so. (Washington Post free link)

What's that?

A fundraising message sent by state Sen. Tom Barrett (R-Charlotte), who is seeking the Republican nomination for the newly drawn 7th Congressional District, claims, “President Biden is forcing 5-year-olds to learn about gender reassignment surgeries, gender identities, and other radical ideas,” adding that “Every American needs to step up TODAY and stop this sick and twisted ideology from poisoning our children.”

Ohhhh, it's fuck you. — Michigan Advance

Florida Health Department issues new guidelines saying Florida children and adolescents should not be permitted to chop their genitals off "social transition," meaning change their clothes, names, and pronouns. For parental rights probably.

If all the educators and school superintendents would just quit, the Right wouldn't have to death-threat them! (NBC Connecticut)

Only one publisher allowed now for math textbooks in Florida, and it's owned by the Carlyle Group hahah lol don't we have fun. — Yahoo

Meanwhile, Judd Legum searched the math textbooks Florida DQed for all the CRT and you're not going to believe this but there wasn't any. (There was, though, instruction on thinking critically and also kindness and teamwork, so you know FUCK THAT.) (Popular Info)

CLANG CLANG MARCHING BAND, We Build the Wall grifter and Steve Bannon conspirator Brian Kolfage going TO JAIL. — Buzzfeed


It's not the choice "facing Maryland voters," Bulwark, it's the choice facing Maryland Republicans. But yeah, Gov. Larry Hogan is termed out and instead of getting behind his handpicked moderate successor (Hogan, a Republican in a deeply blue state, is the most popular governor in the country), they're probably going with the Trump loon. (Bulwark)

The state of our air quality is ... crap! (And if you live somewhere beautiful and natural that you thought wasn't polluted, you get wildfire particulate now too.) — NPR / American Lung Association report

The fuck was Paul Crouch up to, FBI??? (Muckrock)

Who wanna see (and bid on!) RBG's art collection? Oh, ALL OF US? That's what I thought! — Potomack auctions

From the comments! How pineapples became the ultimate symbol of Southern hospitality! (Southern Kitchen)

From my inbox! Except I can't find it now. But the gist was: Pineapples in the South are very much about slaving (my grandfather was VP of personnel at Dole or Del Monte in Hawaii after the war, which I am pretty sure means some Asian peoples were subjugated pretty badly) and everything is :(

Whoops! Seems like it might be time for some optimism of the will! — Noahpinion


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