Wonkette Weekend Live Chat Is Still Counting Pennsylvania GOP Primary Ballots

Robyn and I are back with a primary week wrap-up! We know you’re excited. Pennsylvania Democrats have a head start on the Senate election in November while Republicans are still mired in a contentious outcome with a razor-thin margin that’s headed for a recount. Hurrah!

Progressive primary challenger Jamie McLeod-Skinner also gave the boot to Oregon’s Kirkland Signature Joe Manchin Kurt Schrader (I almost typed Paul Schrader, who I greatly prefer as a filmmaker and human). Senator Kyrsten Sinema shouldn’t count on a second term.

Our weekly chat kicks off at 12 p.m. PT/3 p.m. ET. You can watch on YouTube or right here, but don’t forget to like, subscribe, share and all the interactive goodness.


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Virginia County Considers Making Schools Celebrate Slavery, Confederate Generals Again

Two years ago, in response to the murder of George Floyd, the Shenandoah County School Board in Virginia voted to change the name of two schools named to honor Confederate generals. You know, because they realized that perhaps celebrating people who fought to keep Black people enslaved perhaps sent the wrong message. Stonewall Jackson High School was changed to Mountain View High School, while Ashby-Lee Elementary School to Honey Run Elementary School.

This was the right move, but it upset a lot of very racist people who now want the names changed back to honor the losers of the Civil War, and the new Vice Chair of the board agrees with them. Because apparently it is very "elitist" to believe that it is bad to honor people who fought to own Black people by naming schools after them. .

Via NBC:

More than 4,000 people have signed a petition to change the names back, Vice Chair Dennis Barlow said at a board meeting, where the issue was discussed at length last week.

Some new board members say they feel the decision to change the names was rushed and that it did not consider the opinion of the community.

Barlow — who characterized those who were in favor of changing the names as outsiders who are "creepy," "elitist" and from "the dark side" — said the school board's decision was "undemocratic and unfair."

He added that he regards Jackson as a "gallant commander."

He was also a traitor who killed people defending the "right" of some other people to own people. I don't know what to call that but it does seem like the kind of thing that would get you sent to prison these days, rather than having a school named after you.

During the board meeting, community members got three minutes each to say why they supported or opposed bringing the names back. S. John Massoud, a member of the Town Council of Strasburg and Chairman of the 6th Congressional District Republican Party of Virginia got up in front of the board and talked about how his great-grand-daddy was a union soldier killed by Stonewall Jackson but he supported reverting back to the name because you can't talk about his great-grand-daddy and people like him without talking about Stonewall Jackson. Because the only way to do that is to name a school after him.

Massoud was followed by several women and a young man from the high school — all of whom supported the change. And then those people were followed by two older white guys, one talking about how men from Shenandoah County were with Stonewall Jackson when he got his nickname "Stonewall" and another with whining about how changing the name in the first place was a "dirty underhanded trick."

Then, a female minister talked about tolerance, a lady with Can I Speak To Your Manager hair talked about how she went to Stonewall Jackson high and had a good time there and if you change the name her memories will be murdered, followed by another grey-haired white dude who opposed the name change and wanted everyone to vote on it. And the next old guy talked about how his family served in "The War of Northern Aggression" and you can imagine how that went.

It continued for over an hour.

Unsurprisingly, Marjorie Taylor Greene was very excited about the idea of changing the name back. She tweeted the Daily Mail's story on the issue with "Wonderful news. We should always preserve our history," because of how she loves history, so long as it is never discussed more deeply than "Hey, look at that statue of a guy/school named after a guy who fought to own slaves! Wasn't he great?"

Given the arguments we've been having over education lately, none of this is particularly shocking. This isn't about actually caring about children, it's not about school names, it's about these people "wanting their country back." Trump failed to give it back to them, seeing as how the rest of us all still exist, so now they're going after the kids. To do that, they need to be sure that kids are being raised the same way they were — scared of LGBTQ folks and very sure that the "War of Northern Aggression" was about "states rights" and had nothing to do with slavery.


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Hero Clerk Shuts Maine Town Down, Quits Job After Being Refused Vacation Time

Passadumkeag, Maine, has had to almost completely shut down following the resignation of Christen Bouchard, their only town clerk, who quit in April after she was told by the board of selectmen that she couldn't take a two-week vacation because there was no one to cover her while she was gone.

Bouchard was only contracted to work 16 hours a week, though she says she frequently worked more, and was only paid $13,500 a year.

“I came in on my days off to complete certain tasks, because 16 hours a week is just not enough to do everything that needed to be done over there,” Bouchard told the Bangor Daily News, which noted that on most days she was the only person in the town office residents could speak to.

Shockingly, the town has had trouble finding someone else to do that. The town treasurer, Barbara Boyer, has stepped in to take care of some of her duties, but has been unable to do others, like "register vehicles, do building inspections, conduct animal welfare checks" and other tasks Bouchard was responsible for.

Via Bangor Daily News:

The town has been advertising for positions in the Lincoln News, which first reported the vacancies, Boyer said.

“The market right now for qualified employees that are looking to work part time is very difficult,” Boyer said, citing Passadumkeag’s small population of about 350 residents. “We’re doing what we can to keep everything going.”
She directed further questions to the board of selectmen.

First selectman Brad McKechnie said he was unaware of Bouchard’s vacation request or the role it played in her resignation. Jana Spencer, the chair of the board of selectmen, is handling concealed weapons permits for Passadumkeag residents, he said.

“We have been left with a mess from years of neglect and are doing as much as we can to get our town back in order,” McKechnie said. “I do believe in time with the team we have, we will get Passadumkeag back in order and looking good, but it will take a bit and is going to be a challenge for sure.”

The town also reportedly lacks "an assessor, an animal control officer, and a school administration official."

This comes after the town of 356 voted down a measure to increase the town operations budget, and to increase the Municipal Salary budget from $37,750 to $50,900. To be fair, the outgoing selectman who put the increase in the budget did not show up to the town meeting about the budget and none of the other selectmen could explain what it was for. It's not a fabulously well-off area — the median household income for the area is $49,167 — so it is understandable that people wanted things explained to them before agreeing to a budget.

That being said — if people want services, if towns want services, if they want employees, they have to pay for them. There's just not another option besides slavery. Anyone who has ever worked in a perpetually understaffed situation has heard the "You can't take time off because there's no one to work your shifts" spiel, and the more people refuse to just suck it up because "We're all in this together!," the better things will be for all workers.

AND NOW IT IS YOUR OPEN THREAD! Enjoy! Talk amongst yourselves, I am gonna go watch some Murder She Wrote.

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MI State Rep Candidate Has Great Plan To Ruin Sex For Everybody

Jacky Eubanks is a Trump-endorsed candidate running for a state representative seat in Michigan's 63rd House District and boy is she ever a piece of work.

Recently, Eubanks sat down with Michael Voris of the far right Catholic website (that is not allowed to affiliate itself with the Church) Church Militant and held an incredibly disturbing conversation about birth control, sex and who should be allowed to have it.

The relevant clip is in this tweet, but don't think I didn't go and watch the whole thing, because I absolutely did. Voris starts out by talking about how the Left has become "completely uncorked" about Roe, because we're saying "They're coming after your gay marriage next, they're coming after your birth control and everything else after that!"

To which he says "You know what? Yeah!" — which somewhat diminishes the extent to which one would be considered "uncorked" for suggesting that this is what they want to do.

"We need to make a plain statement of fact, which is the reason why the West is great is because Western civilization's underpinning is Christianity" Eubanks said. "You cannot have a successful society outside of the Christian moral order. And things like abortion and things like gay marriage are outside of the Christian moral order and they lead to chaos and destruction and a culture of death, which is why we're seeing that today. We have abandoned the Christian moral order as a nation and we are reaping that destruction."

So basically what she's saying here is that largely white countries (because we know she's not talking about Western countries in the southern hemisphere, here) are good because everyone is Christian, and the only way to have a successful nation is to force everyone to be Christian, force them to give birth against their will and marry people they do not love. And if we don't do that, the whole country is just going to implode.

But can it get worse? You bet it can! Voris asked her "How do you answer the local press person, who might be your age and just sees you as some loony who wants to take away your birth control?"

"I guess we have to ask ourselves, would that ever come to a vote in the Michigan state legislature? And if it should, I would have to side with it should not be legal," she said, because she is in fact some loony who wants to take away your birth control. "I think that people believe that birth control—it’s better, like you said, oh, because then you won’t get pregnant and you won’t need to have an abortion,” she said. “But I think it gives people the false sense of security that they can have consequence-free sex, and that’s not true and that’s not correct. Sex ought to be between one man and one woman in the confines of marriage.”

"And open to life," Voris added, to which she agreed "And open to life, absolutely."

So as far as Eubanks is concerned, the only sex anyone should be allowed to have, legally, is heterosexual married sex for procreative purposes. Well doesn't that sound like a lot of fun!

Funny that the kind of people who agree with her on that and her desire to impose the Christian moral order on the entire nation are also the same people who will call the left "authoritarian" for telling them that they are jerks if they insult or discriminate against people.

And speaking of not knowing what words mean, check out this passage from Eubanks' campaign page:

As a graduate of Hillsdale College, I recognize the supreme blessing it was to receive a classical liberal arts education based on the seminole works of Western Civilization. I also recognize the damage done to young Americans indoctrinated by falsified Leftist "history" like the 1619 Project. I will write legislation implementing the 1776 Curriculum into Michigan's K-12 public schools. I will also write legislation banning Critical Race Theory, as well as pen a version of Florida's "Parental Rights in Education" bill which would prevent teachers from discussing radical sex & gender theory with students. I will also pen legislation mandating students in K-12 public schools use the bathroom & locker room of their biological sex and prohibit them from playing on sports teams of the opposite sex based on "gender identification".

I generally do not make fun of people's spelling or grammatical errors, on account of how I am not an insecure jackass (and because I make them myself sometimes), but if someone is going to brag about their fabulous and extremely racist-sounding education, and then talk about what kids should be learning in school ... maybe they should learn the difference between "seminal," a term meaning either "strongly influencing later developments" or "relating to or denoting semen," and "Seminole," a tribe of indigenous people in Florida.

One thing that seems especially pertinent here, though, is a post on her Telegram page about how people on the Left are incurably bad because we don't want earth to be a hellhole:

I remember listening to the Peterson–Žižek debate in the summer of 2019 and honestly believing maybe you could convince people on the Left through a good faith discussion.

I’m here today to say I no longer think that’s possible. These people don’t use reason to come to their conclusions. They are driven by a religious fervor to create Heaven on Earth sans God. They would die for their faith in the same way that I would die for mine. That is where we’re at as a country.

Is she ... mad that we want people to have nice lives? That we want to take care of the planet? What is the bad thing here?

I mean, she's 25 years old and has clearly lived a very sheltered life. It is entirely possible that she is unaware that it is entirely legal to not be a Christian, and that it is in fact our First Amendment right to not have a religion forced upon us by the state. If she wants to practice Catholicism, that is fine for her! She should go and be well and live her live however she wants to. It is entirely possible for her to practice her religion without requiring everyone else to go along with her as well. No one is saying that she needs to go on birth control or have an abortion or marry a woman or enjoy sex or practice a religion she doesn't believe in (well, except for the fundamentalist Protestants who don't think Catholics are any better than my heathen ass).

All anyone is asking of her and anyone else, is for them to allow others to do what they want to do as well. Apparently that is too much for them.

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Why The Right Is Obsessed With Nonexistent Mid-Labor Abortions

This week has been a lot, particularly in terms of people saying unbelievably ignorant things.

Perhaps there is something in the air that just made Jordan Peterson feel like he needed to share that the woman on the cover of Sports Illustrated failed to give him a boner and that this is an matter of "authoritarian tolerance" — ie: the guy who suggested that monogamy be "enforced" so that women are forced to pair up with incels who would otherwise go on shooting sprees felt that Sports Illustrated was trying to force him to be attracted to the extremely stunning Yumi Nu, for reasons.

Perhaps that same something was what made historically illiterate Georgia gubernatorial candidate Kandiss Taylor start going on about how the lives of indigenous people were sacrificed so that she could love Jesus as much as she does.

Or that made several men start blathering on about mid-labor abortions, demanding to know if those who support the right to abortion were in favor of stabbing babies in the head as they come out of the birth canal. During a congressional hearing on abortion access, Rep. Mike Johnson, a Republican from Louisiana, asked "How about if a child is halfway out of the birth canal? Is an abortion permissible then?"

The ever-ridiculous Tim Pool posed a similar question to Twitter, asking "What happens if a woman is on the way to get an abortion at 8 months but goes into labor in the lobby of the abortion clinic and accidentally delivers the baby before it could be terminated?"

Quite a conundrum indeed!

This has been a thing ever since Donald Trump got confused about what a dilation and extraction abortion (aka a "partial-birth abortion") was during a debate with Hillary Clinton in 2016.

He explained that he supported a federal ban on the procedure because "in the ninth month you can take the baby and rip the baby out of the womb of the mother," claiming that this can happen "as late as one or two or three or four days prior to birth." This is of course ridiculous, but he just kind of heard the very stupid term "partial-birth abortion" and just assumed that's what it entailed.

And his supporters went along with him.

Why? Because Trump cannot be wrong, and when he is factually incorrect, it's the facts that must change, not him. He creates a new reality for people every time he opens his mouth.

But there is a more insidious reason they are doubling down on this talking point. They want to perpetuate the idea that the reason people get abortions, perform abortions or support abortion rights is because they are cruel and just want to murder some babies. The point of abortion isn't simply that we should have the right to control our bodies and our reproductive futures, but that we are homicidal maniacs. Which makes it easier to make Trump seem right (to them) about another thing — the time he said he would support throwing people in prison for having abortions.

By ignoring all of the very reasonable and sympathetic and understandable reasons people have abortions and focusing on imaginary scenarios in which people just really want to stab a baby in the head as it's coming out of the birth canal. That someone would literally be pregnant for 8 or 9 months and then just decide, you know "off with its head!," probably followed up by "Just kill it so I can get to the orgy, wherein I will have tons of sex so that I can get pregnant and have yet another abortion! Because of how I hate babies, am very evil, and also love paying lots of money for surgical procedures.

If that's the person/super villain you have in your head as the kind of person who gets abortions, you might not care that this is going to hurt them. The purpose of this rhetoric is not to have a better understanding of what abortion is, but to make the abortion-haver so incredibly unsympathetic that no one actually cares what happens to them.

It's how we do a lot of things here, it's why our criminal justice system is so grotesque, why it took so long to get people to realize that making jokes about prison rape was not good. It's why when people are found innocent of crimes they were imprisoned for, other people will say with a straight face "Well they probably did something else bad that they didn't get caught for" (particularly when those people are Black). Hell, quite frankly, it's how America handles not really giving a shit about most of the horrible things that happen to people. People are poor because they were bad and made bad decisions, people have student debt because they're bad and they majored in a thing I don't like — the way things are is basically good and if it doesn't work for you, it's because you are morally deficient. Unless you are a rich person, in which case your problem is everyone else being so spoiled and thinking they are entitled to your money, just because they work for you.

The goal is to make people say "Well, if something bad happens to someone during a self-managed or illegal abortion, that's kind of what they deserve" or to feel like being forced to give birth is a corrective punishment for being the kind of evil selfish bitch who just wants to murder babies for no good reason.

Now, personally I would question the wisdom of wanting what one considers to be a homicidal maniac to have many children (for abuse reasons, not The Bad Seed reasons), but I'm also not a giant asshole.

I am telling you now — this is going to be what they are doubling down on. It's only gonna get worse and more ridiculous and "post-birth abortion-y" from here on out.

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Your Top Ten Stories Of The Week Definitely Exist And Are Not Invisible!


This week's present to you all is, uh, a Chick Tract. I found out this morning that the guy who drew the art for them died. There is a whole obituary for him in Christianity today, which cites this tract — one of my favorites — as one of the most famous ones he illustrated.

Not to speak ill of the dead, but it is truly disturbing.

THE LAST GENERATION www.youtube.com

I used to read these things when I was a teenager and people left them everywhere for us to find — and as hilarious as I found them, I think I vastly overestimated the amount that other people must have also found them hilarious. Because you look at these things and it seems a lot like the laws the Right is coming out with these days are designed to prevent "this" from happening.

Like this kid, Little Bobby, coming home and telling his parents "The kids call me slime because my parents are straight and still married!" ... and then talking about how his teacher is a witch and they are going to sacrifice kittens and puppies for Halloween ... and eventually turning his parents and grandparents into the New World Order authorities as heretics for not believing in the Mother Goddess. You know, because we're all so super invested in what people personally believe and what their sexual preferences are. And we want people to get divorced even if they are happy!

There's a lot that's familiar there, in terms of what the Christian Right seems to think they are "preventing."

And here are your top ten stories of the week!

10. Judges Are Finally Starting To Shake The 'Shaken Baby Syndrome' Nonsense

9. US Women’s Soccer Team Finally Getting Equal Pay For Consistently Awesome Work

8. Racist Kills Ten People In Hopes Of Convincing Nation To Not ‘Replace’ Him

7. Wonkette Weekend Live Chat Vs. The US Supreme Court Part III

6. Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Gin Daisy!

5. Neo-Nazi Twerp Explains How Heterosexual It Is That He Doesn't Have Sex With Women

4. BREAKING: Trump's Truth Social Still Raging Tire Fire

3. RINO Trump Pretty Sure Anti-Muslim Kathy Barnette Too Ultra MAGA To Win PA Senate Race

2. Steve Bannon Says His Kinder, Gentler Racist Nativism Different From Buffalo Shooter's Icky Murder-y Kind

1. Elizabeth Warren Wants To Stop Corporate Price-Gouging

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Oklahoma Hopes To Be Worst State In Country To Have A Uterus

Now that the word is out that we're just a few short weeks from the Supreme Court officially overturning Roe v. Wade, state legislatures across the country are competing to see which one will have the honor of being the state least hospitable to anyone with a uterus. So far, Louisiana is pretty far ahead, what with their plan to throw abortion patients in prison for homicide and all, but Oklahoma is quickly gaining on them. The state legislature there just passed a bill being described as the most restrictive forced birth law in the nation.

The bill, HB 4327, modeled after Texas's Nosy Neighbor Bill, would allow anyone to sue anyone else who "aids and abets" another person in getting an abortion ... starting at conception. The only exceptions will be for rape and incest, if the victim files a report with the police, and life of the mother.

It was introduced in the legislature by Rep. Wendi Stearman, R-Collinsville, who says she was inspired by the way so many more people were forced to give birth against their will in the state of Texas after implementing their horrific bill. Clearly, she was just overjoyed even thinking about the lives ruined emotionally, physically, and financially by the law, how very happy that must make Jesus, and wanted to get some of that for her own state. It passed, 73-16, with two Republicans breaking away and voting against it.

Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt is expected to sign the bill into law, having just signed another bill into law that would classify it as a felony to perform an abortion in the state after six weeks, punishable by 10 years in prison or fines up to $100,000.

Via The New York Times:

The bill defines an unborn child as “a human fetus or embryo in any stage of gestation from fertilization until birth.” Anti-abortion groups, believing abortion to be murder, have tried unsuccessfully since the 1973 Roe decision to pass federal or state legislation defining life as beginning at fertilization.

The vote on Thursday was the latest step by Oklahoma’s Republican-led Legislature, working alongside Mr. Stitt, to chip away at abortion rights until the procedure is all but outlawed entirely. Together, they have put their state at the head of the pack of Republican-led states rushing to pass laws that restrict or prohibit abortion in anticipation that the Supreme Court is soon likely to overturn Roe. A leaked draft opinion written by Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. — along with oral arguments in the case at hand, regarding a Mississippi law that bans the procedure after 15 weeks of pregnancy — indicated that the court was prepared to do so.

The average price of hospital births in Oklahoma is $12,662. The state ranks 42nd in the country for child well-being. One in 10 children in Oklahoma does not have health care. One in five children lives below the poverty line. Fifty-seven percent of children ages 3 and 4 are not in preschool.

The state's own website declares that Oklahoma's maternal mortality rate is one of the highest in the nation — though given legislators like Rep. Wendi Stearman, it is entirely possible that this is meant as a brag.

According to the CDC, Oklahoma persistently ranks among the states with the worst rates (40th) of maternal deaths in the U.S. Between 2017-2019, the Oklahoma maternal mortality rate was 23.5 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births. This is above the national average of 20.1 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births and above the Healthy People 2030 target goal of 15.7.

For comparison, the maternal mortality rate in the European Union is 8 deaths per live births.

Even if none of these things were the case, it would still be horrific to force anyone to give birth against their will — but the fact that they are true makes this all seem especially sinister.

In lieu of setting everything on fire, you can donate to the Brigid Alliance, which collects money to help those who live in states where they cannot access abortion travel to states where they can.

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Barnes & Noble Is Selling Books To Children And These Virginia Republicans Will Not Stand For It!

Tim Anderson, an attorney and state delegate in Virginia and his client Tommy Altman made a frightening discovery. There are entire stores dedicated almost solely to "books," and that are willing to give these "books" to your children ... for a price. Probably about $17.99. There are even things called libraries that will lend them books for free, in hopes of getting them hooked on reading and also sin.

Outraged, the men took their case to the Virginia Beach Circuit Court, where a judge agreed with them that books are bad and not meant for children — and declared two of them, Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe and A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas, to be "obscene for unrestricted viewing for minors," which means they can now be restricted.

It seems that they are largely upset about Gender Queer because they're afraid it's going to turn their children gender queer, or perhaps just turn them into people who are not raging assholes about other people existing, and that A Court of Mist and Fury was kind of just thrown in there for plausible deniability reasons. Because if they're upset about a heterosexual sex scene in a fantasy book, that means they're not bigots for going after Gender Queer.

The two men are also seeking a restraining order on one such store, known as Barnes and Noble, in hopes of barring it from selling these two books to people under the age of 17 — though they have warned parents in a Facebook post that there are dozens of these "books" out there and that they should probably be very concerned about all of them.

Tim Anderson wrote on Facebook:

I am pleased to announce a major legal victory. Today, the Virginia Beach Circuit Court has found probable cause that the books Gender Queer and a Court of Mist and Fury are obscene to unrestricted viewing by minors. My client, Tommy Altman, has now directed my office to seek a restraining order against Barnes and Noble and Virginia Beach Schools to enjoin them from selling or loaning these books to minors without parent consent. We are in a major fight. Suits like this can be filed all over Virginia. There are dozens of books. Hundreds of schools.

The comments on this post were also really something.

"I am so grateful for this victory!!! Thank you!!! Along with [redacted shared Facebook profile for married couple] I have been fighting this issue for 5 months - and I have put my entire life into it," wrote one woman who is very upset about books, "I have refused to believe it when over and over I have been told that we can't remove the books because of First Amendment rights. Obscene materials are not protected by the First Amendment!!"

I am legally obligated to direct your attention to this same woman's banner on her profile, in which she describes herself as a Christ-follower, Life Coach and Collagen Rep.

I am deceased.

In order to be considered "obscene" to the point of not being protected by the First Amendment, a work must meet the following criteria, known as the Miller Test:

(1) Whether ‘the average person, applying contemporary community standards’ would find that the work, ‘taken as a whole,’ appeals to ‘prurient interest’
(2) whether the work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct specifically defined by the applicable state law, and
(3) whether the work, ‘taken as a whole,’ lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.

It is very clear that neither of these books meet this standard, which means that they are protected by the First Amendment, whether Serena Joy over here approves of that or not.

There are hundreds of other comments from other parents who are also just finding out about books for the first time ever. They'll probably be even more upset when they find out their kids could be reading things like this:

When she carried on her whoring so openly and flaunted her nakedness, I turned in disgust from her, as I had turned in disgust from her sister. Yet she increased her whoring, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses. Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your bosom and pressed your young breasts.

That's from a little book called The Bible. Ezekiel 23:18-21. There's a lot of other weird shit in there as well, like a guy trying to get a bunch of gay dudes to rape his daughters (ostensibly to protect some angels who could probably just disappear if they wanted because of how they are angels and not people), who then, in turn, rape him and have his babies. These parents should be very concerned!

In one article about the lawsuit, one woman shared the story of her quest to get the book Gender Queer banned from her local schools.

Stacy Langton, a Fairfax County mother of six, has been waging this battle with Fairfax County Public Schools for months.

On several occasions she has taken it upon herself to read excerpts from "Gender Queer" in school board meetings.

She tells 7News she will follow Anderson's lead.

"This shows there's a higher authority," said Langton. "There's another pathway here. And if a judge adjudicates it and rules the book to be obscene then, from my understanding, it would have to be removed (here) as it will be down in Virginia Beach schools."

She followed that up with, "If we allow this filth to be taught to our seniors, the next you thing you know, it'll be in our high schools, then our kindergartens, and before you know it, we have babies in thong underwear. Is that what you want?"*

Langton isn't just some nobody. Mother Jones credits her with starting the Right's War on Books, so she's a bit of a censorship celebrity.

All jokes aside, this is actually horrifying. Going after schools and school libraries is disturbing enough, but actually going and telling booksellers and regular libraries what they are allowed to sell or lend is just beyond anything we've seen in decades. It is incredibly important that young people have access to books that help them understand themselves and safely explore the things and ideas they have questions about, including their own gender identity and sexuality. This is especially the case when these kids have parents like Stacy Langton or our friend the Christ Follower/Life Coach/Collagen Rep who are probably going to mess them up pretty badly.

Let kids read all the books! All of them! The "dozens" of them that exist! Books are the safest way to explore anything when you are a kid — whether it's something scary, something embarrassing or something else. They're also a great way to learn empathy for other humans. Perhaps if these people had read more books growing up or even now, they wouldn't be the strident, closed-minded assholes they are today.

*CORRECTION: That was not Stacy Langton, but rather Marcia Langdon, the character from the television show Parks and Rec. So easy to get these things confused.

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Kandiss Taylor So Glad Founding Fathers Sacrificed Native Americans So She Could Love Jesus

Once upon a time, when speaking to the United Negro College Fund, former Vice President Dan Quayle commented upon their slogan "A mind is a terrible thing to waste," and adding, "What a waste it is to lose one's mind, or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." There are few people who exemplify the true spirit of that speech like Kandiss Taylor, the "Jesus Guns Babies" lady hoping to be the next governor of Georgia — whom you may recall from the time she announced her plans to take down the "Luciferian Cabal" by destroying the Georgia Guidestones.

During a recent campaign stop, Taylor shared some of her thoughts on American history, the Constitution and the founding of our nation that were somehow entirely serious and earnest.

"The First Amendment right, which is our right to worship Jesus freely, that’s how we have a country," Taylor explained. "That’s how we have Georgia. That’s how we have – our founding fathers came over here and destroyed American Indians’ homes and their land. They took it. Look at what they went through, the Native Americans, for sacrifice. For us to have the freedom we have today."

Oh Kandiss, where do we even begin? How do we begin? With the general inaccuracy of it all or with the very idea of presenting the slaughter and genocide of indigenous people and their homes as a beautiful sacrifice they made so that Kandiss Taylor could "worship Jesus freely," a thing one can also do in England, by the way. How does anyone even come up with that? Is that what they taught at Pat Robertson’s Regent University?

It's just the most incredible display of pure narcissism — for someone to not only view the genocide of indigenous people as a positive righteous thing, but to see their deaths as them sacrificing their lives so that they could have the freedom to "worship Jesus." That's brutal. And it's not even entirely clear that it's their sacrifice she was speaking of. She could also have been suggesting that the Founding Fathers were the ones who had to sacrifice, by murdering over nine and a half million people, which is an equally horrific take.

Thus, it's not surprising that Kandiss has some very strong opinions on what should be taught in schools — where she can safely assume that children are not in fact learning that the genocide of millions of indigenous people was a beautiful sacrifice so that they could all worship Jesus.

“Communism, perversion, and oppression is being taught to our children. It’s unethical. And it needs to be handled in the code of ethics for teachers and their certificates." she said, adding, “I promise you, no make how woke they are, they’ll shut up. They have mortgages and car payments. We don't have to fix it with legislation. I love you, we're gonna vote May 24th, we're going to win."

Now, she's probably not going to win, at least not this particular race where Governor Brian Kemp has a substantial lead over challenger David Perdue and she's only being factored into the polls as "other," but given the way things have been going with the GOP lately, it would not be surprising for her to win a seat in the House or some other office in the near future.

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The Top 10 Reasons Why No Horse Bicycling For Ladies! Tabs, Fri., May 20, 2022

AOC confirmed yesterday in a tweet that she and her longtime partner Riley Roberts are officially engaged, which is super nice for both of them!

The couple actually got engaged during a trip to Puerto Rico last month, though she says they haven't set a date yet, explaining "we're taking some space to savor this time before diving into planning." That's nice for them! Probably some people are mad about it for some reason, because the woman can't bat an eye without 12,000 people losing their minds over how her choice in eyeshadow spells doom for the future of America, but we wish them well! (Business Insider)

In more #romance news, PharmaBro Martin Shkreli is out of prison and back on Bumble, so if you've always wanted to fall in love with a sociopath, now's your chance. Though you may have some competition. Remember Shkreli's ex Christie Smythe, the former Bloomberg journalist who divorced her husband, quit her job and froze her eggs for him and then got dumped through his lawyers after Elle did a profile on her and their great love affair? Well, she says she still has feelings for him and hopes to see him and give him a great big hug.

Is there a word for that? I know the people who send love letters to serial killers are hybristophiliacs, but you just don't hear a lot about securities fraud groupies. (NY Post)

Gucci, in collaboration with Adidas, is selling an umbrella its website describes as "not waterproof." For $1290. And it's not even cute.

All of the reports on the pricey parasol are about how people in China are outraged about it, but they sell it in the US, too. I guess we sell so much stupid expensive stuff that no one cares that much at this point.

I have no issue with spending some money on a smaller amount of quality goods that will last forever, as opposed to buying a bunch of cheap stuff that will fall apart and end up in a landfill— especially as it concerns shoes, because bad shoes can cause actual health problems. But if you spend $1300 on a freaking umbrella that does not work, you are a sucker and I don't know how to help you. That being said, I love the these for me and am a size 39 in European footwear if you happen to be a wacky rich person with a fetish for buying fancy shoes for ladies who work in digital media and will never speak to you. That could be a thing! You don't know! (BBC)

Speaking of fashion victims, Kellyanne Conway is coming out with a book — a book in which she accuses her husband, Never Trumper George Conway, of violating their marriage vows by disparaging Donald Trump — and even accused him of "cheating by tweeting," which is not a thing.

George was spending chunks of time in New York at the firm, where he voluntarily went from partner to an of-counsel role, spending his nights alone at our house in Alpine, New Jersey, 240 miles away from D.C. The numbers don’t lie. During this time, the frequency and ferocity of his tweets accelerated. Clearly he was cheating by tweeting. I was having a hard time competing with his new fling.

Ew. (Mediaite)

Speaking of gross things we don't want to think about, Matt Schlapp, the head of CPAC, touted the end of Roe as a victory for those concerned about the Great Replacement, who were probably already happy about the end of Roe anyway.

“Roe v. Wade is being adjudicated at the Supreme Court right now, for people that believe that we somehow need to replace populations or bring in new workers, I think it is an appropriate first step to give the…enshrinement in law the right to life for our own unborn children,” he said.

Well! At least losing our reproductive rights will be a major boon for racists. Surely that will be a comfort to us all and oh my God what the actual fuck is wrong with this man? (VICE)

I don't have a good segway into this next one, and it's not even recent — but in case you didn't know that there were still people out there claiming that the sun revolves around the earth and cursing the name of Galileo ... there absolutely are. (Revive Truth dot com)

Oklahoma has passed the most extreme abortion ban yet, banning abortions from the moment of fertilization onward. Ugh. (USA Today)

Nice time! Sort of! Judy Blume, Lois Lowry and 1300 other children's writers sent a letter to congress decrying the recent book banning craze on the Right. (Diverse Books)

Senate Republicans successfully killed a $48 billion bill to help restaurants and other small businesses hit hard by the pandemic. (Politico)

In a post on Instagram, a broken and defeated Madison Cawthorn vowed revenge upon those who wronged him, promising the wrath of Dark MAGA will ruin them ... or whatever.

He wrote:

When the establishment turned their guns on me, when the Uni-party coalesced to defeat an America First member very few people had my back. This list includes the lion share of figures that came to my defense when it was not politically profitable. These are honorable men and women who are the type of friends anyone yearns to have. “At the beginning of a change the patriot is a rare and hated man.” These are those rare and hated men/women. There are other National figures who I believe are patriots, but I am on a mission now to expose those who say and promise one thing yet legislate and work towards another, self-profiteering, globalist goal. The time for genteel politics as usual has come to an end. It’s time for the rise of the new right, it’s time for Dark MAGA to truly take command. We have an enemy to defeat, but we will never be able to defeat them until we defeat the cowardly and weak members of our own party. Their days are numbered. We are coming.

Are you though? (Instagram)

Finally, some terrible dude on Twitter calling himself "Alpha Masculinity" wrote a giant thread about how ladies shouldn't ride horses or bikes because they could have an orgasm while doing so and that would make them "filthy."

He writes "Most equestrians just engage in "soft" beastiality by using the horse as a masturbation tool." and also "My belief is that women should stay as pure, innocent, clean, and modest as possible with regards to their bodies. They must protect and not spoil it in any way for their future/current husband. Sexual arousal & stimulation not for or from her husband makes a woman filthy." as well as many other stupid things and very notably does not include a picture of himself on his account. We are certain he is a real catch. (Twitter)

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