Milo Yiannopoulos, once the brightest star in the alt-right sky, has had trouble finding his place in the world after getting booted from basically every Trumpist platform on earth after suggesting that being molested by a priest was not all that bad. Naturally, he turned to the only institution on earth with absolutely no business criticizing anyone else for defending child-molesting priests — The Catholic Church.
To go along with his renewed faith, Yiannopoulos moved back into his closet, declared himself a heterosexual, and grew out a mullet to prove just how aggressively heterosexual he plans on being. Still, even with this and even with all his apologies, the right-wing world has moved on. I hate to say it, but even his 2016 persona is probably not wacky enough for them anymore.
So you know how random celebrities sometimes have their own lines they sell on QVC even though we have the internet now? Well, it looks like Milo has moved on to selling Virgin Mary bric-a-brac on Church Militant's knockoff version of QVC, where he is selling statues of the Virgin Mary for your home shrine. Church Militant, for the unfamiliar, is a very far-right Catholic news site run by Michael Voris, a Steve Bannon wannabe who does not care for other Catholics, and thinks social welfare programs are "a system in which 'half the people of America' pay no taxes and 'get things handed to them.'"
Let's check and see how things are going for Milo Yiannopoulos now that he's "ex-gay" and Christian. Oh, he's hawking Catholic iconography on the Church Militant's YouTube shopping network? Well, obviously things are going great.pic.twitter.com/T7OkB1SCsu— Right Wing Watch (@RightWingWatch) 1636990622
It's 11 3/4" tall, if you're thinking about how it's going to fit into your shrine or maybe even a bedside table, I know sometimes people like to wake up and say "Good morning!" to their favorite people and saints and whatnot, it's available in bronze and pewter and they're both $87.50. […]
We've got statues in the shop that are fully painted, and we'll see some of those later, but the thing I like about this is this wonderful, burnished, bronze-y, aged color that she's got. The face on this is especially good. I hope you know what I mean when I say that there are Good Marys and Bad Marys. Of course, the real Mary is only good. But there are some Marys where the face is unfortunate, they haven't put the work in to make sure that she's got just the right expression and features. This on the other hand, you can see at home it's just, it's just beautiful.
It seems fairly likely that the obviously pious lady sitting next to him almost definitely had no idea who he was or why he was talking about Marys with unfortunate faces. I don't really know what to say except that was awkward as hell. And that I think I will be holding out for the full-on Bathtub Mary.
I was unable to find this HSN/QVC knockoff on Church Militant's website, for further investigation into Milo's new career as the Lisa Rinna of the Latin Mass set. I saw that you can pre-order Milo narrating all the Psalms and Proverbs for seven straight hours, should you be into that sort of thing.
I also found a show called "Holy Mackerel," about some guy who goes around, possibly dressed as a fish, telling people to not eat meat on Friday. Quite frankly I'm not not tempted to watch it.
OPEN THREAD, if you're even still here and not watching "Holy Mackerel" now.
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